Beware The Phrase: "That's Probably Why..."
Wednesday, December 13, 2023
Beware The Phrase,
"That's probably why..."
Be cautious when accepting advice,
Be especially cautious of who is giving it.
The people who love us most are first and foremost probably just being protective — this is beautiful in intent but often misguided.
Everyone knows intuitively that miscommunication is the biggest reason for problems in relationships.
Any sentence, advice, or belief that begins with the words, "That's probably why..." most assuredly is going to cause deep rooted forms of miscommunication especially if they lack firsthand knowledge.
Why?
The phrase (depending on how it's used) carries with it an assumption. An assumption based on a narrative of the person, behavior, or situation rather than anything based on fact or data. Simply put, they're filling in the blanks with their imagination.
The truth is most people aren't psychologists that specialize in personality and behavior. So unless the source is highly credible or using the phrase appropriately, they are allowing their imagination to fill in the blanks of the situation. In fact, humans are great at filling in blanks: we do so for fun with ad libs, we speculate teasers to our favorite tv shows, movies, video games. Marketers know this and when something is left blank people will do their best to fill them.
So What Do You Do?
If possible -- simply ask or get closure. Now I understand this direct approach is often unrealistic for a number of reasons, but how many times have we heard the phrase, "I wish you would have just asked?" I know I've said it.
The key to "just asking" is how you frame it. To frame something means to ensure the intent and perception you want is properly received. For example, if I were to frame a question to my wife, I'd say, "Hey, I want to (have a conversation or ask a question), it may be uncomfortable, but the outcome is (to bring us closer together or fill in the blank -- pun intended).
Need More Help Doing this?
If you need help having this conversation I'd invite you to take advantage of our 7-day free trial into Psychology Solutions Academy. Our curriculum goes beyond “How-To;” it offers a sophisticated but easy-to-understand framework and formula for understanding and navigating human personality, behavior, values, and beliefs all of which elevates couples to meet new levels of patience, understanding, appreciation, and effort. With a mapped out understanding of oneself and one's partner we provide a setting for our clients to have a deeper respect and appreciation for each other. So by trusting us, all members of our community can learn to trust in themselves, their partner, and their future together.
Christopher
Isaac
Founder of My Psychology Solutions
Our choice to include the word “My” in our brand name is to give ownership to our clients over the solutions that will forever guide their relationship/ marriage. When people say our company name I want them to feel a sense of ownership, trust, familiarity, and connection. When they tell their loved ones that “My Psychology Solutions” saved their marriage, I want the brand, the phrase, the way of life to spark curiosity, conversation, and word-of-mouth marketing. Because the solutions we provide are yours to take and own. The future you want with your loved one is yours to have. Thank you for being the newest member of the family that gets to utter the words with pride and certainty – “My Psychology Solutions.”
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